I spent a lot of time talking to cell phone representatives one very frustrating undergraduate year. This is the same year I learned the area code 252 for Greenville, NC is, in fact, the international calling code for Somalia. The first incorrect bill almost made me vomit. The third was just annoying. The forth HAD to be funny.
Spelling my name in words became a game. Boy, Obo, King, Under (not udder!), Soda turned thematic.
Thank you for calling Cingular. Can I have your name please?
Banana, Orange, Kiwi, Ugli (it’s in the citrus family), Starfish.
This is Maria. I can look up your account by name.
Bat, Owl, Kangaroo, Unicorn (so what if I took creative liberties?), Snake
After a few months it became too easy. While waiting for the next available representative I challenged myself.
Circus: Balloons, Overpriced, Knife, Unicycle, Stunt
Biology: Bacteria, Organisms, Kingdom, Unsaturated, Synthesis
Excuses: Backache, Operation, Kid, Unprepared, Sleepy
Can I have your name to look up your account?
Sure. Please tell me what these words have in common when I’m done. Ready? Here goes. Bacardi, Olive, Kamikaze, Umbrella, Stoli
Could you repeat that?
Yeah. Birthday, Olympics, Kwanzaa, Union, Saturday
It wasn’t the operator’s fault. I know that. It also wasn’t my fault I kept getting charged for calling Somalia when I called my roommate. You win some, you lose some.